Eclipse's power

When watching we forget everything else. The same happens when chasing for shooting stars.
Nature has this power..

Sometimes...

...oh sometimes!

Ephemeral's impact

It came, it greeted, it left.
Nobody forgot.

Eternal battle

I didn't sleep well because at 11 a.m. I have an appointment.
Sometimes it seems that there's a force always making us get out of our center and the struggle to regain this position, to regain our axis is endless.
Some situations are so distant from what... I don't wanna say too much.
Just have to save energy to go and wait for the next fight.
Don't forget to smile.
Written listening to Ella Fitzgerald "So In Love", Norah Jones "Come away with me" and Rod Steward "Handbags and Gladrags"...

Update September, 7:
Wow! I never do this kind of post. I feel like deleting it but the image is beautiful. If you're curious everything went well and the problem is about to be solved. Why do we worry so much?

Dedicated to my psychoanalyst / Dedicado a minha psicanalista

There is a very special person in my life that made me find a comfortable space for this feeling of being out of place.


Há uma pessoa muito especial em minha vida que me fez achar um espaço para o sentimento de estar fora do traço.
Você sabe que é você.

Wishing-list from childhood

A box of 48 colored pencil in a box of iron was on my mind when I was a child. Cardboard box would ruin it all.
It is still expensive, I guess, but I think I'll have it one day and I hope they smell good.

My dog

My dog has cancer.

Nothing else to say now. Be back later.

My house without her? How will it be?

I think I'll leave for a while the day... you know... that day...

I will never let her suffer. Not even for one second.

Update: December, 22
It is very hot now. She stays at the kitchen sleeping the whole day. Hardly asks to be pet.
I'm scared.

Audacious Shalott dreaming her life away

Watching the Wheels

John Lennon

People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing,

Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin,

When I say that I'm o.k. they look at me kind of strange,

Surely you're not happy now you no longer in the game,

People say I'm lazy dreaming wasting my life away, (just dreaming)

Well they give me all kinds of warnings designed to enlighten me,

When I say I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall,

Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,

I really love the traffic flow,

No longer riding on the merry-go-round,

I just had to let it go,

People ask me questions looking for solutions,

Well I tell them there's no problem,

Only confusion,

I tell them it is also fine to watching shadows on the wall

Oh don't miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

I just had to let it go.

Outburst

I have been reading a lot about what is really happening to the world now and it is as if I was carrying the world on my shoulders. The number of crimes that is being committed by governments and the corporate wealth elite is something out of proportion. They are regulating everything and making blah... blah... blah... People simply refuse to listen for reasons that are not understandable by those who are deeply concerned and furiously informing themselves over the internet.

There are many people facing the same I am but they are being silenced by you-know-who and the incomprehensible lack of interest of great part of the population that refuses to read the writing on the wall.

It is so heinous and coward what is being done because of money. The greed has reached a scale that is alarming and even petty. They want every cent they can take from the population and they do not care if people will die, get sick or whatever.

The power these people, 1% of the world population, have is overwhelming and they are ruling what we eat, what we drink, what we think using all the propaganda they can and renaming things that are evil adding words like "positive" and so on.

I do not know what is going to happen but... we are all feeling very dis-empowered.

Blogger crisis

OMG! Writer and artists have their crisis and of course other activities also have insomnia but I know too little about them.

Writes and artists sometimes fear not being creative anymore; they fear the white page; they blank, meaning they simply find it impossible to start any kind of work; when they finish a book or after the opening of an exhibition, some of them feel sad because they start asking: "now what?."

They work all the time, even when they are not painting or writing. Writers, at least some I knew, look at what is going around them taking mental notes and I have already catch one of them looking at me taking notes only to read at the next book the description of a woman drying her hair, or... I don't remember but more two things I'm sure it was written from these mental notes he took from watching me. I felt terrible at that time.

Painters, when not working, think about their work in a different way but you can feel they are a little anxious, sometimes a moving one foot quickly, that part of their minds are around but the other part is at that space where all their works are together asking them: "what now?" or something of this kind.

I forgot about the blogger crisis. I'll write about it in another post.

Nunca más!

I don't think that saying "I'm ashamed" when in face of cruelty, or what is called inhuman treatments, guilty is not the most important sense of the word shame.

It is the word that was chosen, I don't know when, to express the perplexity and bewilderment that some events cause. The expressions

"crying shame": Fig. a very unfortunate situation. and

"What a shame!" Fig. an expression of consolation meaning That's too bad." "What a pity!" has the sense of "It's to sad." to the word "shame".

It is not a question of blaming ourselves, not a moral issue.

But for those who don't like seeing horror spectacles, or have pleasure in seeing misery, the felling "what could I have done to prevent it?" can be hidden somewhere. No. Not guilty or helpless will take over and this is not a good combination.

The best to do is to turn this bad conscience into action. Nunca más**!

*Picture: "Shame," by Ori Kleiner, 21 May 2004 via oznik-art.

**(English: Never Again), the title of the 1984 report of Argentina's National Commission on the Disappearance of Persons

Isn't it awful? Yes, but...

I was reading this post Muff, at Kaleidoscope Muff, wrote about some real life friends she accepted at Facebook. She described very well some people's behavior that makes it almost impossible to have any kind of relation.

The pathological liar affects me in a very deep way since my sister is at the list. It is impossible to talk to her because she doesn't only lie about important aspects of life but also about the most silly things. So in every ten phrases you get almost nothing, no connection whatsoever.

There are those who constantly talk about their problems that are always more important and serious than others and insoluble.

Whatever you say is refused usually with the famous sentence that makes the life of therapists hell: "Yes, but...".

You can talk for one hour with a "Yes, but..." person and it will lead nowhere since even small talking is not a possible escape. Than it comes a day that, at least I did, you have to look at the person and say: "No. No "but" this time or anymore."

Usually the person who is in this kind of vicious circle is also a constant sympathy seeker. They complain, whine, whimper in a monochromatic way and it makes you loose all your energy. At the bottom of whatever they say is the sign: "Isn't it awful?"

I'm a person who is very empathetic with other people's suffering but I confess that I learned to avoid wasting my energy when facing this behavior.

No need to remorse because it will not make any difference in their lives for they also don't want your friendship and know that everybody leaves so there are always at least three persons around them.

If one person don't show up it will not be noticed.

You can take a look at "Games People Play", to see more psychological traps that you can avoid. It was Eric Berne, founder of the Transactional Analysis, back in the sixties who did these patterns. I don't like it as a therapy process but it is a good source to understand some relationships you have the suspicion that are a little bit strange.

Now I will change the TV channel because I'm in the "Speech, I have the power game." when a head of state talks whatever is in his head, or at the speech script, and we have to listen.

Why do they have to speak like this, in a solemn and rhetorical way? It is so old-fashion!

A great word

YES

it makes the world go round.

The art of ironying

I found this clip-art and had some thoughts being the first my total lack of skill using the iron even thou I tried and promised that "this time I'll succeed".
I followed all the instructions from women of my family like right temperature, water for the biggest wrinkles, lots of other tips I forgot, and even the ironing map: for a shirt start ironing the collar; shoulder; sleeves; back; front... I did it all carefully so time for another garment.
Shirt on the hanger. Again! There was not terrible wrinkles but it was unacceptable to wear.
After many tries I gave up and the only tip I have for irons is:
"Don't make grilled cheese sandwiches with your iron, or iron your hair - it gets the iron dirty."

Another one that Missy reminded: "Don't let the iron drop on the carpet. Both will be ruined."

it was learned by experience and I can say it's true, by experience.

Very Slowly

That's the motto of this blog. I started it and I have no idea on how is it going to be and I want it to keep it this way.
 As I had to do backups of my blogs I decided to try them here and so I published three of their posts. I think that is a good idea because I don't remember some of them and there are others I would like to share one more time. 
I don't care about numbers at my other blogs. For this one I couldn't care less.
I wanted to share a drawing. I have it on my mind but not in paper. So I'll scam something I did some years ago. brb
I found this anonymous image at my documents and I wonder what happened. It looks like a spider web, a bullet on a windshield... why Rorschach tests have the same images that we feel like answering "a bat"; "a butterfly" for all of them? 


Update: May,8
This is how Maznah at Cooking-Varieties sees the picture:

"i see it as an of IMAGE OF CITY LIGHTS ALONG HIGHWAYS AND BUILDINGS...BLACK AND IMAGE FROM ABOVE"

Isn't it amazing? I can't see this way but I'll try. Leave a comment if you see something.

Staring at the wall

That is the reason I cannot leave the window open the whole day.
No! I am not depressed but I stare at the wall since my childhood for many reasons such as trying to find answers or raising the right questions, boredom, wandering/wondering, being, I don't know exactly why because I don't pay too much attention on what I'm doing during this time.
The window is opened when I'm doing normal stuffs such as cleaning up; reading; lunching; talking at the phone and others.
But never when I'm staring at the wall and the wall can be any object but I don't see.



from my blog justAna